Ever been stuck?
I mean really stuck with a life problem or issue or situation that goes round and round and round in your head.
You know you have thought about every option, every angle, every scenario and every possible answer but NaH! Nothing… you’re still STUCK.
Sometimes it’s a relationship, it’s overwhelm, it’s mind and mental health concerns and sometimes it’s just how you feel about yourself and your life right now. It feels like quick sand and you’re moving fast just to prevent yourself from sinking and it’s exhausting.
When you are stuck in your own mind, you can’t see the way out, and sometimes it’s handy to have a few life tools up your sleeve to get you out of the mud.
Now is the time to build a resilience toolkit.
Here are a few life tools to add to your toolkit and it may be all you need to open windows of choice in your life.
#1- Nourish THE most important relationship
Pain from relationships can stem from a lack of relational intelligence. When your interactions end up in a blame game or a sulk attack it may be because your focus is on the outside world.
What I learnt early in my life is that if you don’t have a relationship with yourself, you can’t have a relationship with another. We bring our self, our mind and our stories to every interaction- whether it’s your love partner or your boss or the shop assistant at the local store.
Your interactions with people start with knowing yourself and that is the first relationship you need to absolutely MASTER, to have amazing relationships with others.
#2- Know that you wear glasses<
You have a history…an upbringing…experiences…and so on and these things make you unique… AND they also form the lenses of your glasses.
We all wear glasses and they are tinted with our history and experiences.
The way you show up now, how you respond, behave, and what you say or do in this moment is clouded by your own inner judgements and thoughts. And these are shaped by the past and by your interpretations of the past. Your own inner faculties may not tell you what IS real only what WAS real.
Our beliefs are just thoughts and these in turn are just mental interpretations. Stories that are built by your mega brain computer, are not real because they are based on past events.
It’s hard to go meta on our own inner world of thought when you are part of the story.
You may need a hand to unpick your story and notice the themes that play out in your life.
#3- Stop distracting yourself
The biggest challenge for everyone is to face their story, heart-on with compassion and then to own it, instead of shunning it and running away or distracting yourself.
Many people are overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger and unseen truths.
Our tendency is to avoid facing what is painful and distracting ourselves instead.
#4- Start Noticing more and thinking less
That doesn’t mean that thinking as a process is wrong.
It means that the process of NOTICING allows you to go meta on thought. Notice that you are noticing your thoughts. This distances you from thought so you untangle yourself from whatever mind stuff is driving you crazy.
The skill of noticing is a powerful tool for freedom. The freedom to be the real you.
#5 Learn about Relational Intelligence
Ever tried having a relationship with yourself lately?
Relational intelligence is comprised of a number of skills that allow you to look IN before you look Out.
The amazingly simple and powerful techniques allow you to see what you normally would not see in the messed up world of poor relationships and poor interactions.
Relationships are not just about you in relation to another. They are about you in relationship with you.
Sometimes life throws you lemons that bash and batter you and it’s hard to even know HOW to get back up and back on track. We’ve all been there and I see lots of people like you in my counselling practice.
Do you know what makes me REALLY sad?
It’s when people say “It’s taken me 2 years to get here, I wish I’d come earlier? why didn’t I come earlier?”
I usually say “Well at least you’re here, many others don’t take that step and they struggle in silence”.
Now, I don’t want you to wait any longer, I want to offer you some freedom tools to get you unstuck right now. So read on…
May I give you a hand to get back up?
- Do you need a hand with relationships? you and your partner, your boss, your mother, father or even the mail man? And more importantly, your relationship with your world or inter-personal- relationships?
- Is your life out of balance? And stress, overwhelm and anxiety and that black cloud feeling are just the new norm?
- Has your life come off the rails and you’re left with the thought “what’s wrong with me? “or “I feel broken”. Do you need a hand re-adjusting your life back on the track?
- Do you want to better understand your emotions and why you do what you do? You know those repeated patterns, but you’re stuck and it feels like they’re etched in your psyche and keeping you trapped.
I’m not offering you therapy because it’s going to take you 2 years to come and if you’re stuck in a relationship that’s not working for you, the literature says it takes 7 years before you seek out counselling.
So I’m not going to ask you.
I am going to extend an invitation for you to learn about you in a small workshop.
Better than doing your own research on Google and You tube, it’s an experience based workshop for a small group, where you can safely and comfortably explore what bothers you in the privacy of your own workbook. You get to share what you want, when you want. There is no pressure. And better still, you walk out with a life toolkit busting with tools that you can draw on to help yourself. I want to put the power in your hands to help yourself.
My name is Iman, and I am a clinical Social worker, psychotherapist and coach and I am passionate about helping people like you to find their freedom.
If you want self– mastery, then you’ll already know that we all need to get to know ourselves and have a relationship with ourselves before we can have thriving interactions with others.
I enable and empower people like you to live the life they want. I do this with evidence based scientific tools that work.
My next workshop is in July 2017.
Growing a Marathon Mind: A toolkit for everyday life resilience.