It can be incredibly frustrating when you’re feeling flat, sad or worried and you don’t even know why. All you want is to feel joy, excitement and happiness. Your mind tells you that your feelings rule and you can’t possibly reign them in. So you resign yourself to a state of unhappiness.

Happiness can be created, manufactured, grown, and harnessed.

You may be excused for thinking I’m going to tell you to buy alcohol, take drugs or some other external means of coping to cushion you against the bad and heavy feelings inside.

Not so –

There’s a better way to harness happiness and it’s all about growing yourself.

In my work as a therapist,  individuals and couples of all ages come for help with all manner of relationship concerns.

And regardless of the type of problem; whether it’s finding a partner, fighting and conflict, poor communication, past unforgivable hurt or infidelity, there is surely one thing all people have in common.

Regardless of relationship status or even the relationship concern, all people want happiness.

Relationship happiness comes from your inner state and if your internal world is not in order, it’s much harder to find happiness through a partner.

You’ll need to work on yourself first before you work on the relationship between you.


We are all searching for relationship happiness.

Is happiness the ho – hum feeling that is not sadness?

Maybe you were happy once.

But that distant feeling is hardly recognisable now and you’re wondering if happiness is just a lack of sadness.
You remember days when hiking gave you joy and skiing was exhilarating. But now, it’s hard to capture that pleasure feeling inside.

You long for fleeting moments of pure happiness.
Every now and again happiness surfaces like bubbles rising from within, making their way through your time- body only to surface and pop and vanish once more. With happiness gone, what is left? the feeling of heaviness, purposelessness, sadness and the lack lustre life that has lost the joyous sparkle of true ecstasy.

Perhaps you’re single and you know with absolute certainty that if only you had a partner all would be swell.
Or are you in a relationship that leads you to hide your anxious thoughts and fear for fear your partner can’t handle it.
You feel even more lonely than together.

One thing is certain, your heavy feelings inside will not allow your best self to surface.

You won’t show the best you when all you feel is sad and anxious.


If Life has no meaning and purpose for you, your partner will feel that energy when they’re around you.    

What us humans desperately want is to get a fix on happiness.

Happiness has a way of seeming to be always a step away or within arm’s reach. If only you could reach that distant point in the future and grab it.

But what if happiness was not there?

What if happiness was already here?

Stop reaching for that happiness bubble that is somewhere out there.

Happiness is already here. Inside you. Your job is to activate it.


Harnessing happiness if self-coaching with practical tools to work on yourself.

If you are an advocate of self-development you may have already started the search for tools and skills to create a happy life. The bookstores are full of advice and Google will never run out of ideas for you. You may have tried many of these and given up.

If you want to help yourself – now is the time.

Remember that your relationship happiness depends firstly on your emotional state. You won’t show your best self if you feel flat and empty.
If you want joy and happiness for you and your relationship – you can build it- from the inside out.

Did you know that happiness can be grown, and cultivated and harnessed?

What is the meaning of Harness?

If you look this up in dictionary .com you’ll you’ll find it means something like –

to bring under conditions for effective use; or work with things for a particular end like -to harness water power or to harness the energy of the sun.

Can we gain harness happiness, just like water or power from the sun?

I believe we can harness happiness.

We can find ways of using our innate intelligences to grow and hold on to the emotional state called happiness.
We have innate talent by way of our five senses – the power to see, hear, smell, touch and feel.
These powers lie dormant when we are not in touch with our inner terrain of thoughts, feelings, dreams and urges and memories.

And yet they hold the key to happiness.

There are 4 powerful principles and ways to untangle from the struggle of unhappiness.

  1. Working with thoughts- unglue the super glue thoughts that keep you stuck
  2. Working with feelings- connect with feelings and create openness
  3. Working with behaviours- activate the behaviour you want
  4. Working with presence- create a mindful watcher stance.

They happen to work together in a step by step process. It is repeatable and it creates happiness.
It has been tried and tested through my work with clients and it is a therapy method that has scientific backing. So it’s no hocus pocus here.
When you can focus your mind, you directionalise your brain on what matters most.


Stop blaming your relationship. Stop beating yourself.

If you don’t have a process or a set of tools to work on yourself to cultivate the emotional state called happiness then you are not helping you and most certainly not your relationship either. What are you waiting for?

It’s time to coach yourself

Become empowered to take charge of your happiness and your relationship happiness. Start with the relationship you have with your-self.

Learn all the tips and tools that you can use to cultivate the state of happiness that you want and desire.

Join this free training and start straight away to learn how to harnessing happiness to learn all about the tips and tools to work with your good self to activate the happy state so you can grow happy relationships.

What if you could harness the mechanisms that cause sadness, fear and panic to instead summon joy and happiness?

Find out how.

Grab my free Ebook:

Simply click Happy you Happy relationship.



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