The gift of giving doesn’t come naturally to everyone and I was reminded of this only recently.
Wolves in business
I’ve had a longstanding painful work interaction, with a business. I have values and found myself purposefully playing with wolves … I knew I wasn’t one of the pack.
Just recently, I was blown away, by the turnaround in the wolf pack!!
The challenge for a wolf
A pack member made an error, and the leader admitted that it was their error. Now it’s clear from the outside and looking in that this business is still sorting itself out …unfortunately at their customers’ expense.
What was truly astounding, they did something out of character. As I was the affected party from the error, they gave me a gift… and it was a high value gift. I was shocked, confused and guilty that I had judged them wrongly! It almost brought me to tears as I had judged them as not being of good moral value. I truly believed they were not capable of such grace. I must have been wrong! And I felt the pangs of guilt at my own judgement.
We all Judge
Now when these things happen in my life, I turn inwards. My meditation cushion is well worn and I gave it a good deal of use as I searched for the meaning of this judgement that came out of me.
It truly was confusing to me…Every action and interaction in their business showed me what not to do, how not to behave and it showed that their values were distant from my own. But I was stuck. I had to work with them.
Money as value
As I turned inward, I asked and questioned… I don’t get these things wrong… what happened??? I was clear their value was MONEY. Every business decision, every action I witnessed, their choice of words and methods and every marketing ploy and tactic shouted GIVE ME MONEY …they were hungry for a sale. Sale is money, hustle for Money…Money money money is business and that’s it.
I judged them. Their values were not mine. I now felt bad.
Values are your beacon
Sometimes it’s hard for you to keep your values front and centre. When it feels like you’re the only one holding on tight, remember your values are the beacon of light that propels you in life. Move towards your values and you can’t go wrong, you will be living a life worth living.
Speak your values
My value is to enable people, to create meaningful interactions. From one person to another to another …and then watch that ripple and take over to bigger teams, groups, families and communities.
I am an adherent to prosocial living and I mean it.
I tell myself..’ keep your values close and don’t waiver, even if others around you pull and tug at you with opposing values’.
What’s love ?
I grew up asking myself what does the word “love” really Mean. So much is heard in our world about Love. We can love life, the taste of a food, a passion with an intimate person and we can love a colour, place and a food…it’s all love.
But if we dissect that common word L o v E
What is it?
For me it is compassion. It’s kindness. It’s giving.
A genuine giving that says “ I give you of what I have and I want nothing in return– it is not transactional.
What’s love in business?
Is there room for love in business?
It sounds so corny? And for some people the answer is a resounding NO.. everything but business because business is about the bottom line. It’s about money.
Well I think Not.
I know about prosocial teams, workplaces and communities that work.
It’s all about love and those finer human qualities I call “the silk of business”.
The silk of business
If these qualities of care, compassion, giving, kindness do not transmute every cell in your body, every breath you take… if they don’t become who you are- and if you can’t practice them in business then you’re removing them from your person, your body, cells, relationships and life.
You are one mind and body
The mind and body are linked and even that fact is Old news now.
There is way too much science that tells that there is only one You. The you at work is the same as the you at home and that is the same as the you in business. It’s the same body, same mind and the same cells and physiology that informs your every action, your relations and persona – wake up!
Define who you are now! Define your values. They are who you are are – no matter where you are.
Now I’m the first to admit that I’m no business guru, so I’ve looked at what these business folks are teaching – learning is my passion.
When they teach give give give and I love it and I’m in!!
For some there’s pain in giving
So naturally I was blown away when the business wolf pack gave me a gift.
They took the gift back
Without asking without my permission
They whipped it away
It lasted two weeks
It must have been hard- agony for them to give
The pain of giving when it’s NOT in your cellular structure, it’s torment
I can only assume they couldn’t stand the pain.
It didn’t last.
I was right.
I’m so sad for their pain and my gut sense was right
I am associated with wolves…and I am not!
Back to the well -worn meditation cushion for me – to wish them true love and awakening.
Iman Iskander is a Clinical Social Worker with a psychotherapy practice in Sydney. She is passionate about interactional intelligence -between people and within each person. She specialises in human interactions, mindful relationships and self mastery. Iman holds engaging workshops for the public and in the corporate sector in Sydney CBD.
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